How am I unlovable?
Let me count the ways.
Well, of course, first of all I was dead
Dead to the world.
Feel? What do I feel?
I have no idea! I don't feel anything.
I'm fine. Leave me alone!
I'll give all I have to give
It may not be much
Certainly won't be enough
But it's all I've got and more.
The vessel pouring out and out
Nothing goes back in - how long can this go on!
Perfect mother, perfect student,
Perfect wife, perfect homemaker
For all accounts and purposes perfectly dead.
From the most unexpected sources
Love pours in
Pared down to our essence
All we have left to give is understanding, support, love.
(Our bodies may not function, but our spirits still do.)
Even you get some. It's enough for a start.
Enough to get the pot boiling.
The feelings bubble out.
Love pours in, shit pours out.
Everything falls apart.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses and all the king's men....
Can't someone put me back together again?
Deadness is not an option.
Tried and found not true.
What can you offer me?
Oh, oh! That looks like it smacks of deadness!
So long. It's been good to know you.
And now we have feelings
feelings
Nothing else but feelings!
Ah yes! So these are feelings.
Messy, ugly, uncontrollable feelings.
Pain, pain and more pain
Loneliness, loss, desolation
Heartache, heartbreak.
Well, at least it's something.
Better than nothing
No longer dead but still unattainable.
Wounds become the focus
How to heal all the wounds
Books, books, and more books.
Meditation, workshops, yoga, massage
Pop psychology, Integrative psychology
Neurolinguistic programming, Time Line Therapy
"Heal Your Past. Create Your Perfect Future".
But how! But how?
The drowning man (woman) clutches at straws.
Real enough straws to be sure.
Straws that can save - they have saved others.
But they can't save me.
Independence keeps me afloat - one nostril above the surface
Who could really trust those little straws.
Run, run as fast as you can
You can't catch me, I'm the.....
No, no no!
I'm not the gingerbread man.
But what am I.....
The irresistible force or the immovable object?
Wounds, wounds, wounds,
I am my wounds.
I have no idea how to heal mine
Maybe I can heal yours.
Do as I say, not as I do.
Look at yourself, can't you see?
The answer is so simple, it's right before your face.
If you would just fix yourself maybe you could love me
Then everything would be just hunky dorrey.
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
We're in deep water here and I'm getting tired of trying to swim for both
of us.
Maybe I'll let you save yourself.
Maybe it's time for me
To look after me!
Who needs it worse than I do!
We're all in the same boat here
Me, You, Them....
I'll try to paddle my own canoe and leave you to yours.
Maybe, if I can get good enough at it
-you'll get the idea?
-I'll be able to open the lid of that vessel and let the love pour in (and
let your love pour in).
Maybe if I get good enough at it......"
