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Though I find our sessions difficult at times & I resist in the beginning-due to doubt & fear-I feel it all works out in the end and I discover some amazing things about myself as a person and as a performer. I also feel that bringing each aspect of myself together in the end to a whole/healing is very powerful and I loved/had fun playing the drum this time as I chanted "We are Opening" by Jennifer Berezan - words of which are: We are opening up in sweet surrender to the luminous love light of the one Its quite neat the work we do together-especially with the incorporation of performing. I have always found improvising-creating right on the spot-somewhat difficult-but the work you ask me to do challenges me to open to my doubts and fears and I find I'm getting better at it & trusting myself more. Even when I think something will suck-judging it before I've even given it life-I do it anyway and find it will usually move me to a place of brilliance. I feel I could have the start of a couple one woman shows. I also love how I've opened more to being okay with who I am-whether I'm willing, open and giving or being closed off-if that's where I'm at and I bring awareness to it all - its okay - and I know that even by simply expressing the unwillingness I move through to a place of being more willing. So that's very powerful and it's great to be okay with who I am and where I'm at. It's also great to be able to express my feelings and fears more creatively--in a safe & open environment. Our session allowed me that and I found expressing myself-creatively-to be a very powerful tool. Funny, you'd think I'd know this having a degree in Acting and all-but somehow I've not been able to do as much as I'd like to in this area. So often I bottle things up inside, but if I can simply express it-it can lessen the pain and allow a way through so much easier than holding onto it and dwelling. Before I came for the visit, part of me wondered if I was intruding in some way. But I realized & believed-when you said you enjoyed having me visit-that you really meant it & that you're both very loving & kind people. I guess I've been a little suspicious of people for a while & I've seemed to be unsure if people really like me & want me around--part of my fear of intimacy--fearing I'm not wanted. It was nice to realize & accept a little more-that I am loved & wanted. I've also realized, just recently, that my fears are only as big as I make them in my own mind-and that is a very powerful realization. Thank you for your openness & for being so accommodating and again for the visit & the session. They were both amazing and our time together was wonderful-you're both beautiful. With Love, Jodi |
Once again, I had another fabulous session helping me to face and accept more of my fears--very powerful for me in many ways.